Episode Transcript
[00:00:18] Hey, and welcome back. I hope that you guys had a great weekend or since the last time we, quote, unquote, quote unquote, saw each other, hope that you had a pretty good week.
[00:00:32] My name is Shannon Williams, and this is the Grayson Grit Mindset podcast. And we have been really working on our mindsets, surrendering to the Lord in some areas and just letting him help us overcome toxic thinking.
[00:00:49] Because I really believe that for where God wants to take us, we cannot get there unless we are grounded and rooted in faith in our mind, and we are thinking like Him. Yeah. So if you've missed that, that whole series, I think I've done like nine or ten episodes of that. And they've been.
[00:01:11] For me, they've just been such a great reminder. And it was good because I was able to actually articulate and put down some of the things God had taught me into, like, words and not just keep it on side, but, like, share it, you know, I'm hearing a lot of other prophetic voices right now, saying some of the things, same things that I've been hearing, which are things like, hey, God has. Has a new season upon us right now. A season of increases, a season of recovering all and that the enemy has taken from us. But the thing is, you know, there's this moment before God gives us or puts us in that next season that might be more full of fruitfulness or it may be like some doors opening and favor and things like that. He wants to do that, but there's some healing that has to take place.
[00:02:07] And that's. I think we're in that moment or those few moments, months, whatever they might be for you, before God kind of releases you into another season. And it can feel like when you're in that, that you're not okay because it kind of feels like you're unraveling and God is exposing things in you that don't really look pretty. And you're like, I thought I already dealt with this. Like, why is this coming back up again? You know, And I can totally relate to that because of what I've been through the past few years, thinking I'm okay, and then having, like, a really bad day where I. I just, like, am so spiritually caught off guard and I end up doing things, maybe sliding back into or slipping back into some weird, unhealthy, toxic behaviors where I either shut down emotionally or I am an emotional basket case and I'm all over the place.
[00:03:06] I don't know if any of you can. I can relate to that, but I Feel like we're in that moment right before God is like, okay, now it's time to take your promised land, cross over the. The Red Sea type thing.
[00:03:18] But he cannot do it until there's some healing. I believe that take needs to take place in us from past trauma. And if any of you know about me, one of the things that's so near and dear to my heart is helping people who are going through some trauma or have been through trauma, helping them heal and get to a place of restoration.
[00:03:45] If you don't know this, I have a lot of psychology in my background.
[00:03:49] I mean, not like a degree necessarily. I was on my way to that. I had taken quite a few classes, and then I went through some specific type of Christian certification for counseling that's called belief therapy. And so when you do that, you get to even get more knowledge and information and understanding of the way that the brain works and the way that even the chemistry of the brain and how trauma affects you and how you can take scripture and you can use scripture and the truth of God's word to actually fix your mind.
[00:04:27] And I am such a big believer of that. But there are times in your life where, you know, you have been through so much. And so I'm. I'm probably.
[00:04:38] I'm hoping that there are some women or men listening to this that are like, this is what you need to hear today. And so I'm speaking to you, and maybe you're driving down the road and maybe you're like, I can't do this anymore. Like, I'm so tired. I am so done with life.
[00:04:56] I'm so done with believing for things to change and they never do, or constantly being disappointed. I get all of that, and I have those moments, too.
[00:05:08] But I just believe in the goodness of God and hope. You know, I talked about last week how having hope is what keeps us going. We're talking about the mindset shift of joy over despair and hope. Hopelessness is what leads to despair. But having hope creates this joy in our heart. And I think a lot of us, because of what we've been through, because of the trauma of the last few years of our lives, there's an absence of hope. Because you keep thinking, is this ever going to change? It never gets better. I keep thinking, okay, tomorrow is going to be better, or next week, it's going to change. And it's not. Because I think what we're. We are thinking, okay, God is going to turn this around. He's going to do it overnight. And I wish that were the case, and maybe he will.
[00:06:01] But more than likely, you're in a process, just like I'm in a process.
[00:06:06] And processes take a while.
[00:06:09] Processes don't happen overnight, usually.
[00:06:13] But where God wants to take us, the journey of getting there is just as important as getting there, because who he will change us into on the way to getting there is super important.
[00:06:25] And so I just want to encourage you today to embrace this season of your life. Even if it's uncomfortable, even if it feels like okay, God is, like, not here with me. It feels like I'm not okay. And that's. That's what I'm calling this episode, when you're not okay. And I just want to tell you that no one's condemning you. I'm not judging you if you. If you are not okay. And I think what a lot of us do, if you're a strong woman of God, you have this pressure on you to pretend like you are always okay because you have all these people around you, whether it be your family, your children, your spouse, or maybe your work, or maybe, you know, you're in a ministry, in a platform, and you feel like you have to always have it together.
[00:07:13] And I want to tell you that that is not true.
[00:07:16] I think the enemy uses that to isolate us.
[00:07:20] And if you really think about it and just hear me out and don't, like, get frustrated or angry or feel like I'm judging, but I feel like sometimes it's some kind of form of, like, spiritual pride, because we think we don't need help or we don't need things, but we do.
[00:07:40] We do need things, and it's okay to need things.
[00:07:45] But here's the thing that we have to do. We have to. Not only, of course, we take care of everyone else around us, but are we taking care of ourselves?
[00:07:55] And that's where I feel like I wanted to land today with you, is when you're not okay, it's okay to take care of yourself.
[00:08:05] You know, you can. You can stop performing and just start processing.
[00:08:10] Sometimes when you go through trauma, it takes a minute. It takes a minute. When you first. When you first have a traumatic event happen, you aren't processing then. You're just in survival. And it could be a couple months before you are like, oh, my God, this feels worse than when the traumatic thing happened. I had that happen in my life where the, like, immediately after it was. Don't get me wrong, it was excruciating. But I had, like, this wind of the Holy Spirit carrying me. But then it got to where, okay, now we're just walking this out. And now we're a couple months past, three months past, four months past.
[00:08:54] And I'm not okay.
[00:08:56] You know, I'm struggling, I'm hurt, I'm grieving, I'm not okay.
[00:09:02] But then you feel like you can't tell anyone that because the stigma surrounding the church is that you can never tell anyone that you're not okay, right? Because religion says, well, you should be okay.
[00:09:16] Well intentioned Christian people in your circle might be like, well, you should be okay. You know, like, hey, fake it till you make it. I hate stuff like that. Or I'm blessed and highly favored. But on the inside you're cringing and you don't mean it at all, at all. Because you do not feel blessed and highly favored. You feel like my whole world just crumbled.
[00:09:35] Please shut up and dispense with telling me that I'm blessed and highly favored. You know, I would feel like that when people would say things like that. What I wanted was for someone just wrap their arms around me and hug me and tell me was gonna be okay. That they, they're, you know, just to, just to be with me. Like, yeah, I mean, there's no quick fix for that, right? There is trauma and when trauma happens, it is going to take time to recover.
[00:09:59] But the problem is a lot of us are not being honest about the pressure that we're under. We're not being honest about the struggle and that we are struggling because we're supposed to have it all together, right?
[00:10:15] So here's the thing. I think it takes honesty and I think it has to start with honesty with God.
[00:10:22] I mean, are you, are you being honest with him?
[00:10:27] Are you praying anymore? Like, I'm gonna be really honest with you guys, since we're talking about honesty.
[00:10:33] There were years in my life when I would get up and lead worship in these groups of people and I would not be okay.
[00:10:40] But I had to pretend like I was okay. I had to perform.
[00:10:44] Because if anybody knew what was really going on with me, they would be like, oh, she needs to, she does not need to be up there leading worship. And see, that's, that's, to me, that is Satan trying to, trying to throw us into a place of performance and we were never meant to perform. So I think there's people all the time getting up and leading worship or speaking or preaching or whatever, just day to day life. And they're not okay, but they're pushing through it. And I think that's Sometimes what we have to do. I think there are times when we have to do that. But I'm talking about when this goes on, and this goes on and on and on for months, where you are almost living in pretension all the time.
[00:11:31] And I'm telling you right now, that's a recipe for complete burnout and just a breaking point for you, where you're just going to completely fall apart. You can only sustain that kind of pretension for so long.
[00:11:47] But you have got to be honest. You've got to be honest with the Lord. He's not afraid of that honesty. I actually have a song called Honesty, and that's where it came from. Like he was telling me, really, when you come to me, I want you to be honest.
[00:12:03] I mean, you can be. You can be reverential, you can be respectful to God, but you can still be honest. I am struggling. I don't understand why you allowed this. I don't understand what your purpose is. I'm struggling to even trust you right now. I don't understand. I mean, he. He gets it. He knows. He knows what it feels like because he came in the form of a man so that he could empathize with us, right?
[00:12:28] But just being honest with God is where it starts. And if you even look at the Psalms.
[00:12:32] So David was. Was on a spiritual roller coaster, but he was also a man after God's own heart, right? So you see this struggle.
[00:12:42] You see this struggle between him loving God but also struggling.
[00:12:49] And I even think that one of the reasons that God pulled him out and prepared him for, what, 14 years, he's in the wilderness. He's running, he's hiding in caves. He's just all these crazy things because Saul is constantly coming after him to kill him. Can you imagine the trauma this must have caused in David's heart?
[00:13:14] You know, I mean, he didn't ask to be the king of Israel. He didn't ask for any of this.
[00:13:20] He was content to just serve Saul. He would have been happy with it, but that was not God's will. And he had to surrender to this. He had to say, okay. And then so he surrenders. And now he's getting treated like trash. He's getting chased, he's getting blamed. He's. I mean, attempted murder on his life all the time. And all, you know, he keeps trying to just tell. So I'm not here to. I don't want to take this from you. I just want to serve you. You're my king.
[00:13:48] But Saul will never believe him. And it Just becomes this roller coaster, roller coaster for him. And some of the best psalms that we have are because of what David went through. Which is crazy how God used that, right?
[00:14:00] Same for you and I. Some of the worst things we go through, God can use them. God's used.
[00:14:06] The songs that I've written and the blogs I've written and the books I've written came out of pain, you know, and then redemption from the pain, too. But there were moments when God had to say, okay, I know that what you went through was traumatic, so I'm going to spend some time and I'm going to heal you before I send you into this next season. And I think that's even what David had to do. I think David, before he really takes the throne, he has been healed.
[00:14:34] He's come to a place, I believe, of maturity.
[00:14:38] And God has healed his heart from the trauma that he had gone through.
[00:14:46] I can't even imagine, honestly. You know, PTSD is not necessarily. We don't see it in the Bible, right? But I'm pretty sure he probably had it. Can you imagine the things he saw, the things he did, the, the, the victimization that he had to go through, too? But he did some terrible things, too. And just, just on of it, man, just think about how hard would it be to go through those type of things and still be okay, and still be like, lord, you know, I'm ready for this next season. I think at moments he probably just wanted to give up, but he didn't.
[00:15:20] That's what we see. He keeps coming back to the Lord, keeps being honest in his.
[00:15:26] In his responses to the Lord, in the way that he talks to God, the way that he worships. He's honest. Honest.
[00:15:33] And, you know, if you can't be honest in prayer, where can you be honest?
[00:15:38] God is. God is not looking for your polished, perfect words when you pray.
[00:15:43] He's looking for real, authentic.
[00:15:47] This is what's really in my heart, Lord. You know, no pretension here. This is really how I feel. This is. And it's probably not true, but this is how I feel. And the thing is, Psalm 34:18 says, the Lord is near to the brokenhearted, so we can take comfort in that. I know you don't feel it when you're brokenhearted.
[00:16:05] I remember reading that scripture and crying. I remember thinking, he's near to me. He's near to me right now. He's near to me right now. Can't feel it, but I know he is. And trying to live by faith.
[00:16:17] So let's Just reframe this thought of being honest with God. God doesn't heal who you pretend to be. He meets you where you really are.
[00:16:29] So God doesn't heal who you pretend to be. He meets you where you really are. So how can God heal you if you're not going to be honest about the struggle?
[00:16:38] And then there's the danger I think of when you get in these moments, these times of pretending like you're okay but you're not.
[00:16:48] You, you tend to isolate.
[00:16:51] You tend to isolate because you don't know.
[00:16:54] Like, like it's hard to pretend all the time, right? So sometimes it's easier just to isolate and be alone. So then I don't have to lie. I don't have to because really we're lying. Honestly, you know, if I'm alone, then I don't have to keep up this charade all the time. It's exhausting.
[00:17:10] So here's the thing. When you're not okay, the lies. No one can handle this version of me. I've actually said that before. No one could handle, like if they were to hear what I really thought right now, I would not have a single friend on the face of the earth because it is so, so bitter. It is so negative.
[00:17:27] But here's the thing. Healing happens in a safe, I'm going to say spirit led community.
[00:17:34] Because Ecclesiastes 4, 9 and 10 says if one falls down, the other can help them up. But if you're all alone, who's going to help you up? You're always the one helping everybody else. But what about you?
[00:17:47] What about you? You need help too.
[00:17:50] That's okay. That's not a slight to you. It doesn't mean you're weak. Actually we're all weak because Paul said when I'm weak, then I'm strong.
[00:17:56] Like I boast in my weakness because then I'm strong because he's living through me. We need to, we actually need to reframe how we see weakness. It's actually a good thing that you're falling apart. It means that, okay, he can actually work through me, through my surrender, through my weakness. Right?
[00:18:15] So I want to say, you know, some, sometimes maybe a breakthrough might look like a text that says, hey, I'm not okay. Can we talk, like reaching out to someone when you are not okay?
[00:18:29] I watched, oh man this week, this weekend, I watched a bunch of documentaries. And one of the ones I watched was about a family of professional wrestlers and the tragedy that befell their entire family.
[00:18:46] And I want to say Two or three of the brothers committed suicide. I think two of them committed suicide, but it might have been three.
[00:18:54] And it was just like this chain reaction in the family.
[00:18:58] But I wonder if somebody would have said, hey, I'm not okay. Can we talk?
[00:19:03] If that would have opened the door and it would have stopped what Satan was trying to do, which was destroy their lives. And he did. Actually, there were six brothers. Only one is still alive.
[00:19:14] Five of them died, several of them by suicide. The other ones were tragic, awful situations. And I just. I'm thinking, Lord, like, how many suicides could be prevented if someone just said, hey, I'm. I'm not okay. Can we talk?
[00:19:29] You know, because you know what? You need to hear this. I need to hear this. Someone else can handle your despair, your.
[00:19:39] Your moment of weakness.
[00:19:41] They can handle that version of you, okay? It actually, like, I would be so glad if someone that I thought was so strong would come to me and just honestly and say, I am struggling. Like, I'm like, oh, my gosh, you're real, too. You're real just like me, right?
[00:19:56] So I just want to say. And I want to. To give you the freedom to ask for help and to let trusted people into your process. And that's going to require wisdom because not everybody can you trust, right?
[00:20:12] So this isn't about just blurting it out to some stranger. It's about, okay, Lord, I need someone that I can trust to talk to. And it's probably going to be someone who maybe spiritually is maybe walking a place of a little more maturity than you are. Maybe they're a little older, maybe not, but there's someone that's trustworthy. They're not going to take your information and tell everyone about it.
[00:20:39] So if. And I just really have a heart today, I think for people who are in ministry who feel like I'm so burned out and I can't tell anyone, I have to have it together all the time.
[00:20:50] I want to set you free, and I want to tell you that you don't.
[00:20:55] It's okay to need help. It's okay. Okay not to be okay.
[00:20:58] Because healing is not weakness. It's wisdom. It's wisdom to say, I need help. I'm weak right now.
[00:21:05] This is what the body of Christ is for. The body. And this is a scripture. The body heals the body.
[00:21:11] The body heals the body. When something happens to one part of our body, all of the resources rush to that part of our body to heal it, because it has to.
[00:21:24] And so you aren't A burden to the rest of the body.
[00:21:27] You're part of the body. This is religion talking. When you feel like I don't have the right to tell anybody I'm weak and I don't need help, that's religion talking. That is not the spirit of God. You have the right. You are part of the body.
[00:21:42] Just think about it. If you're a hand and you get disease in your hand, you get an infection in your hand and you don't tell the rest of the body, you're going to make the rest of the body suffer.
[00:21:55] Eventually. If you don't get that taken care of, you may have to amputate the hand.
[00:22:00] It's so important to recognize that you matter just as much as everyone else in the body of Christ.
[00:22:07] So let's talk about some truth. Let's talk about this another aspect. So honesty, community and truth. These are the three things that I think we have to have when we're not okay. And I think we need these all the time.
[00:22:24] And maybe if we had them all the time, we wouldn't be in a place where we're not okay.
[00:22:29] But I think these three things can pull us out if we're honest.
[00:22:33] We have community, we have healthy community, and we have truth.
[00:22:37] And the great thing about it is, is truth comes from community. A lot of times, right, if you're surrounded by the right people, then they can tell you the truth. Of course, truth can come from the word of God. Yes, of course.
[00:22:54] But there are moments when you are so broken and you're not okay that it's even hard for you to look at the scripture and get those scriptures and get help because you just feel so broken, right?
[00:23:08] So truth that anchors when your emotions are loud. So emotions are real, but they're not always true, Right? We know that.
[00:23:17] But truth is what stabilizes your soul when feelings try to run the show.
[00:23:23] Do I have any sisters out there that you are a drama queen? I am so there with you.
[00:23:30] I can, man, I can take it. I can do a one act play all by myself in one day because my emotions can change that much.
[00:23:39] I love what Jesus said in John 8:32. You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.
[00:23:46] And sometimes you just need to be reminded of the truth. And that may come from a trusted friend or spiritual advisor or just someone in your community close to you that you trust.
[00:23:57] Invite them in, tell them you're not okay and let them tell you the truth.
[00:24:02] Another truth. Isaiah 41:10. Do not fear, for I am with You, I am with you. And I think this goes into when. And I was just thinking about this scripture a few weeks ago. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. When you go through the fire, I will be with you. He's always with us, right? But the enemy can make you feel like you're all alone. And that's why it's so important when you get around the body of Christ and the blood starts flowing into you again, right? Because it's the blood. The blood is the blood of Jesus.
[00:24:32] The body comes together and the blood starts to flow and it starts to get to the affected places that need it. And that's what you're doing when you get around the community of Christ, the community of God.
[00:24:43] So he reminds us that not to be afraid because he's with us. I love 2nd Corinthians 10 5. Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
[00:24:53] That can be hard when you feel like you're not okay.
[00:24:58] And sometimes you got to do that by faith. And sometimes you got to do that with a group of people like we were just talking about. Let them help you take that thought captive.
[00:25:07] Draw from their strength.
[00:25:09] I love that because someday you're gonna. You're gonna do the same thing for them. That's what makes it so amazing and beautiful, is that no one is an island in and of their self, right? No one is so strong that they never need someone else.
[00:25:23] Think of the strongest person, you know, they need other people. Whether they say it or not, they do.
[00:25:29] And it's okay that you need them as well. So the truth is. The truth doesn't deny your emotion, your emotions. Rather, it puts them in their proper place, right? So. So that we're not swayed and led by the emotions. Rather, we know that, hey, I'm feeling this way, but it may not be the truth, right? The truth is this.
[00:25:49] The truth is what God says.
[00:25:54] So I just have, you know, kind of a challenge to leave you with this week. First of all, hey, if you are struggling, especially if you're in ministry and platform ministry, I've been there. And you need someone to talk to.
[00:26:07] I don't normally say this, but, you know, reach out to me. My email is shannashannastrange.net I care and I know how it feels. I really do. To get up week after week after week, or to teach or to sing or to speak and to be thinking, I am a disaster. I'm a walking disaster. I wish I had someone who could understand this, someone other than the Lord.
[00:26:32] I Know he understands it. But I need someone to care about me for a second and to pray with me, to cover me because I'm weak, right?
[00:26:41] So if that's you, I'm just saying, you know, reach out to me this week if you feel like that's.
[00:26:46] That's the route you need to go. But if not, you know, I'm just gonna say maybe this week, text or call one safe person. Who is that safe person for you?
[00:26:59] Like, don't wait until you're in crisis mode or you're beyond crisis mode, but you already have the massive breakdown. Do it before then. Take care of yourself. Do some preventative maintenance.
[00:27:12] Speaking truth over yourself every day. Just one. Just pick one truth, you know, if it's Isaiah 41:10, do not fear. He's with me. He's with me. Maybe that's the one you need to speak. I don't know what it can be.
[00:27:25] Spend 10 minutes in stillness with God. Just. No words, just presence.
[00:27:29] Just presence. Just spend some time with him.
[00:27:32] Seek counsel or pastoral support if you need it. There's nothing wrong with that. Even if you're on staff at a church, you still need someone. Even if you're the pastor. Maybe you're the pastor.
[00:27:43] Reach out to someone else.
[00:27:45] Get counseling, get support. You know how many pastors commit suicide? I wish I had the statistics, but I know that in the last few years, it's been awful.
[00:27:54] You just see it happening all the time.
[00:27:57] And if you're a person and you're listening to this and you are not pastoral, you're not on staff, you know, maybe just check on your. Your pastor, maybe check on the people in your life that maybe.
[00:28:09] Or even if they're not in ministry, maybe they're teachers and they're going back to school right now and they're going to teach you how hard that is.
[00:28:15] Check on them.
[00:28:17] You know, just check on people.
[00:28:20] And hopefully I pray that the same happens for you, because there's no. There's no shame in needing help. There's only shame in pretending you don't.
[00:28:29] Right?
[00:28:31] So if this message found you today, I hope that it did, and I hope that it encouraged you that you're not alone. There's now no condemnation to those who are in Christ. I just want women that hear this, that might be struggling to know that you're not alone and to know that there's a safe place.
[00:28:51] God has a safe place for you to talk to other people about it and get the help that you need.
[00:28:58] So this podcast is helping you. Please like like it. Subscribe to it. Wherever you follow podcasts, please rate it. That definitely helps me every every review, every rating I get. If it's good, hopefully helps me grow the podcast and I'm on a mission to help people walk in victory because of spiritual mental breakthrough that God wants to take them through. Hey, so I am going on a cruise next week, so we'll see if I release an episode next week or not. I may try to do it before I leave. If not, then I will be back in two weeks and I will be sparkling, shiny and brand new from an amazing vacation.
[00:29:43] So until then, God bless and wow.
[00:29:55] Ha.
