From Pain to Purpose

[00:00:02] Yep, yep, yep. Oh, my gosh. Hey. I am back. It has been, man. It has been some. [00:00:11] Some serious time. It has been about nine months since I made an episode for this podcast. Hopefully if you, if you didn't remember who I am or you actually listened to the podcast for a little while, I just want to apologize and say I'm so sorry. [00:00:30] Yeah, I. I went through some traumatic stuff, my husband and I, and it was. It was so intense that it kind of shook my whole world. And I had to step away from doing anything other than just surviving and trying to recover and going through counseling and rebuilding our life. [00:00:51] So with that being said, you know, today I'm not really going to talk about the. Some of the things that happened necessarily, but what I want to do is just talk about what's on my heart, but just also let you know that, you know, if you are married and you are wanting to maybe build your marriage, or maybe you've been going through some struggle and trauma with it, or maybe it's on the rocks, you know, it's. It's like, I don't know if we're going to make it. I want to just really encourage you to hang on there. There's a lot of great. There's a lot of great ministries out there that minister to people in those situations. And we are adding our name to that list. We're creating another podcast called the Marriage Altar. My husband and I are currently recording episodes. It is video based. We will put it on YouTube and other platforms, and I will tell you about that when it, when it releases. But that is going to be specifically for people who are married and who are going through some things. Maybe there's some trauma, maybe there's some addiction, and, and, you know, they're praying for restoration or they're. They're wondering if it can even happen. Like it's. It's so far gone. Can God even restore this marriage, which is where we were last year? So we want to tell you that, yes, God can restore your marriage and we are living proof. So just be, you know, on the lookout for that. I will. I will release that information on this podcast so that you can find it as well. [00:02:22] But today I want to talk about From Pain to Purpose. And I think that this is probably a reoccurring theme in my life, that I wish I could just, like, not carry this message and just move on. [00:02:39] But I find that the way that God uses me is that he allows me to go through things that are, you know, painful, not. Not absolutely everything. Is painful, guys, but a lot of things are. And it's pain is universal. We're going to go through pain and suffering in this life. There's no way around it. But for me, I found that the Lord wants me to take that pain and, and give it some purpose and release into the world. What he's taught me in that season so that I can help other people. [00:03:18] And that's not always fun. And I don't always want to do it. To be honest with you, the last few months of my life, because it's been so hard, I've just wanted to get on a cruise ship. As a matter of fact, just booked a cruise in August and all I want to do is get on the cruise ship and just float away and forget about all of the things that have happened to me over the last year. To be honest, I have wanted to pretty much walk away from anything ministry related or write books or write songs or sing them, or speak. [00:03:49] I have just said, you know what? I. All I can do is survive right now because it was that hard. And I don't know if you're listening to this and you can relate to those kind of seasons, but I do want to tell you that even in those moments, God can transform those broken places into powerful testimonies. [00:04:11] Even when you don't want him to, even when you don't even honestly care anymore. Because you can get, you can come to a place where you've gone through so much that you've lost all your dreams, you've lost any hope, you've lost just anything. But you're in. You're completely in survival mode. And so your life becomes about, okay, I need to make sure I'm getting quality sleep. I need to make sure I'm drinking water. Did I even drink water today? Did I even eat today? [00:04:42] You know, that's. That's what my life became. [00:04:46] After I released the podcast back in September, I was ready to go. I was like, okay, let's do this, Lord. And then my life fell apart again. [00:04:55] So if you are in, if you are in that kind of situation, I just want you to know that you're not alone. I understand. I get it. And it's normal. It's normal. That's the thing I think that people need to hear, we all need to hear, is that there's a reality of pain. And I don't care who you are, pain is going to be part of your life. It doesn't mean that you live in it all the time. It doesn't mean Every situation is going to be painful or everything is awful, but when it does come, because it will, it will come to all of us. [00:05:29] You have to know that it's not the end of the world. It's not meant to destroy you. Satan might want to use it to destroy you. [00:05:39] But according to Scripture, trials build perseverance and maturity. [00:05:45] I mean, that's part of how we grow up into looking more like Jesus. Because Scripture tells us that really our high calling, our end goal here, is that we look like Jesus. We look like God's son. [00:06:02] So that's far and above any other hope or dream or whatever in our heart or in God's heart. He's more concerned about what are you gonna. Who are you gonna be like, who are you really? Versus, like, some destination you're trying to get to or some hope or dream that you have. Really what's important to God, and it's even more important to him than your comfort, Your comfortability maybe would be a better word in every season of your life, is are you changing and growing and becoming more like his son? [00:06:36] Because that's his goal for you. That's the end game. That's what he wants for all of us. And so trials, pain, unfortunately, are. Are some of the methods that are used to build perseverance and maturity. [00:06:52] So it's not. It's not. You know, I just want to encourage you with, it's not failure. Pain isn't failure. It's. It's often a setup for purpose. [00:07:03] And you know, what's crazy about it is you can be in a really good season of your life. [00:07:08] Everything's rolling along. Like, that's. That's how I felt last year. Even the things had been really hard, even though, I mean, they had been hard. But I had. [00:07:18] God had rebuilt my life with my new husband. [00:07:22] Everything seemed to be going great. [00:07:24] And then trials testing enters our life at a level that I've never, ever been through. [00:07:33] And I had to, you know, survive it, first of all. But I had to realize that it's a setup for purpose because it felt like such a detour. And I think that's what a lot of us think when we're in that, that season is how can this be God's will? How could God have allowed this? How does this feel, fit into what he has for me? Because when you go through trauma, you know, you're like, how could this be God's will? [00:08:04] And sometimes there's not an answer for that. [00:08:07] I mean. But I can tell you that if you look At Scripture, you see so many people that have gone through traumatic things that I think we could look at that and say, is God just cruel that he allowed that? I mean, isn't it cruel that God allowed David to be crowned king by Samuel, and then he has to spend 14 years or so of his life running from him, sleeping on, you know, in caves, hiding Saul, throwing spears at him? And. And David never was trying to take the kingdom from Saul. He was actually very reverent. [00:08:44] And. [00:08:45] But how does he get repaid? He gets repaid by being chased to being. Trying to. You know, Saul's constantly trying to murder him. [00:08:54] That's traumatic for a person. I don't think we realize. We read Psalms, some of the psalms that he wrote, David wrote, and we don't realize that these were traumatic events that he was going through. [00:09:05] I mean, these. These were not. Just. I don't think we fully can understand it because we weren't there. But I can tell you that you have your own trauma, you have your own things that you're walking through that they just. Man, how does this even fit into God's will? And how could he even allow it? [00:09:23] And I'll tell you, a lot of it's because it's often a setup for purpose. [00:09:28] So the thing that's the most painful to you will actually end up leading you into your destiny, which I know is so far beyond what I could even comprehend, or maybe even you can comprehend. I mean, we're like, how in the world are you allowing this? What good can come from this? [00:09:45] My life feels like it's over. I. I don't even have words, Lord, for the pain that I feel in this season. But I just want to encourage you with some scriptures that I think are so good, and they're. They're not anything you haven't heard. If you're a believer and you've been a believer for a while. These are scriptures that get thrown around a lot, but they're true and they're good, and they're great reminders of that there's this purpose in pain, and that God can take pain and turn it into something beautiful. You know this. Romans 8:28. [00:10:19] You know that God works all things for the good of those that love him and are called according to his purpose. [00:10:26] And I can guarantee you, first of all, that God loves you. [00:10:31] The cross proved that. [00:10:33] And I can guarantee you that he has the ability to work everything for the good. [00:10:40] And I'm. Even as I'm saying that, I'm thinking about when Jesus, he's already told the disciples multiple times what is coming, what's going to happen. [00:10:49] And, you know, I'm gonna. I'm gonna be handed over and I'm gonna be crucified by the very people I came to save. [00:10:58] And I'm gonna die, but I'm gonna. You know, I'm gonna be resurrected. [00:11:02] He's told them these things. Maybe not in those exact words, but he said something like that to them. But yet when it happens, they're shocked and they're like, what just happened? [00:11:15] This does not look like what he told me was going to happen. [00:11:20] And how can God turn this for the good? [00:11:23] And it looks like in that moment that there is no way that God can turn this for the good. [00:11:30] And I don't know if you are in a season like that where you are like, there is no way that what I'm going through that God can turn this for the good. Maybe you're going through a cancer diagnosis of for yourself or someone you love. [00:11:46] Maybe you're going through the hardest season of your life. Financially, I can relate to that. Maybe you're going through extreme marital issues that you don't know if you're going to make it. [00:11:58] Maybe you've lost someone. [00:12:01] Maybe someone dear to you has passed away. [00:12:04] And maybe you're in such grief that you have. You can't even see beyond the wall of grief that's in front of you to even believe that God could turn something like this and work it for the good. But if I've seen anything about my God, he can turn things and work them for the good. [00:12:23] And, I mean, that almost makes me want to cry because I think back over my life and the things that I've gone through that were so horrible, and somehow it might have taken, you know, a few weeks, it might have taken some months, it might have taken a year or two even. [00:12:43] But somehow God turned it and he made it into something beautiful. And I don't know if that just means anything to you or if it sets you on fire, because in my heart, that like. Like I felt that spark in my heart when I was saying that, like, there is nothing God cannot turn and make it into something beautiful. [00:13:07] And I. I love that about him, that he always finishes what he starts. And whatever he starts, it ends up being a masterpiece. You know, we are his poema. That's an Ephesians. We are his masterpiece. [00:13:22] He's not going to stop until he turns that thing, that story that we're in. He's not going to stop until that story comes to a beautiful ending or that work of art he's trying to, to create in our lives, he's not going to stop until, until he gets it perfect and it's a masterpiece. And I just want to say to you today, don't be one of those people that says, I don't know that I can wait this out. I think I'm going to walk away from God. Do you know so many people who start out so well and love the Lord turn their back on him because things didn't work out like they thought it would. This is the true test I believe in. In my 40 something years of being on this earth, this has been the true test of do I really love him or not? Is can I let these things happen in my life and still give him glory? [00:14:25] Am I willing to let. To hand him my life? Because that's what I say when I'm a disciple of Christ. You know, I'm a Christian, I'm a Christ follower. That, that means that Christ is my Lord. Can, can I really say here's my life? [00:14:39] Do whatever you want without any restriction? [00:14:42] Because here's the thing. In our, in our westernized version of Christianity, what we do is, here's my life, Lord, but here's what I want you to do with it. I want this. I want this. And I would like this. And I would like it if you would join me in my agenda, in my kingdom and what I want to do. But that is not the way it works in the kingdom of God. [00:15:06] When we surrender our lives, our life becomes his life. Just like this is the great exchange. Just like his life now becomes our life. That's what scripture says. We, we now have all the benefits of being children of God and His life has become ours, and now our life is becoming his to do with whatever he wants to do. [00:15:32] So I don't know if that hits you in a good place or a bad place, if it makes you mad, if it makes you happy, I don't know. But I just know that there, there is purpose and pain and it doesn't last forever. And it's not like every season of your life is going to be like this. [00:15:50] I think life is about seasons and accepting the season that you're in and not just accepting it, but learning how somehow to even have joy in a season that feels really awful and difficult. And you know, sometimes you go through a season that's filled with grief and, and that's understandable, but we don't grieve as those who don't have hope. We grieve as those who have hope. Right? We understand that whatever it is I'm going through, God can turn it around. God can make it something beautiful. He can turn this awful thing into something so powerful and so amazing, and he is taking it somewhere. And this is the story of my life. And I think it's the reason that I keep repackaging this message and, and saying it in different ways. Because God wants to remind people, your life is not just a sum total of randomness or your life is not just, you know, things that are not connected and there's no theme to it. That's not your life. [00:17:01] God has it all planned out and mapped out. [00:17:05] And although I do not believe, and I don't believe scripture necessarily supports this, I do not believe that God sends terrible things into our life. [00:17:16] Now if he's trying to get your attention and you're not being obedient, he's going to allow some stuff into your life. But there's sometimes when you. Things happen that are bad that you didn't, you didn't open a door. You weren't living in disobedience. It's just part of living in a broken world. And I hate that. I really, really hate it. [00:17:34] And I just, I. I want to remind you that we do right now, in this moment, live in a broken, fallen world and, and trauma, catastrophe, calamity is going to touch every single person that lives here. [00:17:48] But that will come to an end. There is an end to that. [00:17:52] That when we get into the presence of God and we, we leave this earth and we go to be with him, that stops that life full of pain and sorrow and grief is no longer there. So you just have this moment. That's why Paul says these momentary light afflictions. [00:18:14] I actually even want to just read that scripture if I can find it really quick. [00:18:19] How they, these momentary light afflictions, how they produce in us an eternal weight of glory is how he. How he describes it. It's this eternal weight of glory. And that's what he's doing in our lives right now. Even when it doesn't feel like it, even when it's like, oh my gosh, you've abandoned me. There's one thing I know. There is one thing I absolutely know, and I want to tell you this, and I want to tell it to you in such a way that I am so convinced, and I hope that you are too. [00:18:57] He will not ever leave you or forsake you. [00:19:01] He will not abandon you. Nothing can separate him from you, nothing. [00:19:08] So even if you're going through the absolute worst moment in your life, he has promised he will be with you in it. [00:19:17] You may not be able to feel him in that moment, but that's where faith comes in. That's where faith has to be activated. You have to, within yourself, you know, move beyond the emotion, move beyond the feeling and just know it, know it. He is absolutely with me. [00:19:35] And I know that sometimes it's really hard to do that if you're a sensitive person. I'm a super, super sensitive person, highly empathetic as well. So my emotions are constantly like, I have to constantly try to stay in control and keep them regulated because I can really go off, you know, in a whole other world with my emotions and be drug around by them. But something the Lord has been teaching me the last few years of my life because it's been such a roller coaster, is that I have to live by faith. Part of being mature as a Christian is living by faith. [00:20:13] Not having to have God give you a sign every single day of your life, or not having to have God, I don't know, give you a dream every night, give you an open vision, have somebody come up to you and give you a word, find a scripture that, you know, I mean, it's not always going to be like that. [00:20:34] You know, he wants you and I, he wants us to learn to be in a real relationship with him where we can just take him at his word. [00:20:44] I mean, I'm thinking about just relationships in general, you know, my friends or a parent, child relationship. I mean, how exhausting is it when you have a kid who won't just believe what you said? And they keep asking you over and over and can you prove that to me? I need you to show me. I need. It's exhausting. And it really reveals that kind of lack of trust that we have. And if you don't have trust in a relationship, then you really don't have a relationship. [00:21:13] Trust is pretty much the foundation of a relationship, of a good relationship. And a lack of trust means there's really nothing there. It's a very weak, fragile thing. And God wants our relationship with him to be so strong and to be so unshakable that when things happen to us, instead of us caving in, just becoming a folded up mess in the floor, he wants us to be strong in our faith. And part of that is this, this thing that he wants to take our pain and give it purpose. And part of that purpose is he wants you to be a Witness to who he is. So how do you know you really love him? Is one of the ways I think is, are you willing to let that, that pain, that trial that you're going through, are you willing to stand strong and firm so that it can be a witness to someone else? Like, I'm willing God, to let you use my life as an example of how you can do anything, of how you can study someone through awful situation that most people wouldn't recover from, or most people get taken out by this. [00:22:27] Because I feel like over the last five years of my life, since COVID since 2020, it has been one attempt by Satan to take me out. I'm telling you guys, one attempt after another. If it wasn't marital, it was physical. There was a time where I was sick non stop. I caught everything. I had Covid, I had the flu. [00:22:51] I had weird, random, just diseases that I would be like, what is wrong with me? Why am I so sick? And then it was okay. Then it became about lack of finances and struggling and barely making enough. I don't even know. I mean, if I. If I were to just put my W2 in front of some of you right now and show you, like what I made last year, there's no way I could be living in the house that I'm living in, driving the car I'm driving, because the numbers don't add up. [00:23:19] But my God is bigger than those. He's bigger than these numbers. So he made a way and he's trying to teach me to trust him. Do I like it? No. Do I want out? Yes, absolutely. But I'm learning how to take my pain and let it be turned into something purposeful so that other people around me. Because that's really what it's about, right? All we can do in this life is, is really love people and love God. [00:23:48] And part of the way that we love people is, is we show them by our example of how good God is and how. How he carries us through every season in hopes that they would want to join this family that we're in because they are God's child too. Our whole life is not about us and our pain. And I think that's something in Americanized church and religion here is we really make our Christianity about ourselves an individualistic type thing. We've got to remember that it's not. I mean, yes, partially it is about you. God saved you, but he wants to save everyone. He wants to save everyone. [00:24:27] And. And there are moments when he's going to pour his love out on you, with an expectation of you to pour that out on other people. Because he wants his children with him. Just like any good parent, they will do anything to be with their child. And it's not what the child can do for them. It's just. I just love my child. I love them and I want to be with them. And that's the heart of our Father. So I don't know if this, you know, where this reaches you, but I just want to. I just want to remind you, God's not forgotten you. And your pain and your purpose is just often born in that place that. That hurts you the most. [00:25:11] That I'm just going to say that sucks, but that. That's the truth right there. Your purpose is often born in the place that hurts you the most. [00:25:21] It's like the testimony you never wanted. [00:25:24] It's the adventure you never asked God for, but you got it. And so now what are you going to do with it? [00:25:30] Now what are you going to do with it? So I just want to just, you know, call you into this moment with the Lord and maybe this week spending some time, you know, reading over some scriptures that have to do with this and maybe journaling, maybe talking to a friend and meditating on Romans 8, 28, Isaiah 61:3. I love Isaiah 60:1. It's amazing. [00:25:57] But I just want to leave you with just some encouragement this week that your, your pain has purpose. [00:26:06] And hey, I hope that you enjoyed to some degree this, this episode. And I again, I thank you for coming back and listening and maybe giving me some grace for taking such a long sabbatical after I had just started the podcast again. And I will have more information soon on the marriage podcast that's going to be released soon. [00:26:32] But hey, you know, like this podcast, please share it, subscribe to it wherever you listen to podcasts. That helps me build it and, you know, that's it for this week. And I just pray that this next week for you is full of reminders of God's great love for you and his goodness towards you.